Let's be more selective about who represents the consumer's voice when it comes to poor customer service!

http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/complaints/charter-communications-customer-service-is-an-abject-failure-240177.php

OK. the Charter rep is clearly retarded. But so is the customer. He signed up for a 6 month promo. He paid the promo price 6 times. What did he think would happen in month 7? The bill is prorated (like everyone's cable bill always has been) so the payment you make in Feb is actually for your service in March. So he could just cancel or reduce the services he has and it would automatically reduce his current amount owed. I guess, just because Charter can't train their chimps right doesn't excuse this cat from being and idiot.

My Wife's Mom Was On Blind Date!!!!!!!!!

Why Can't She be...

The other type of mermaid, you know the one with the fish part on the top and the woman part on the bottom...

As a Futurama fan I had to post this one...

Throgmorton Dustbin says:

It's the Minnesota Sixth District. Stretches from the Minneapolis suburbs that nursed Jesse Ventura northward to Saint Cloud and neighboring whacko havens with hearts-and-fetuses handmade lawnsigns marking the homesteads and farmsteads of God's Righteous Army.I think that Stearns and Morrison Counties have the lowest college attendance rates of any two counties in America.They've always been self-taught nutcase idealogues, from 1930's and Father Coughlin through the 1950' and the John Birch Society right up to Michelle Malkin, their latest idiot savant.My father, who was born and reared in Saint Cloud but smart enough to get out before he was 25 used to remark "God made the country, man made the city, and the Devil made the small town."

http://wonkette.com/politics/minnesota/michele-bachmann-knows-secret-us-surrender-plan-for-iraq-239248.php

To the media a criminal who stops his car and gives up is a "weak ending." but when they think he's going to get shot... that's exciting.

To: Anonymous

It's been almost 7 months. I just re-read some shit you said then. Wow... who'd have thought that after 7 months... fuck you still. Fuck you right in your selectively hearing ear. Maybe your uptight ass has loosened. Maybe you've douched. Maybe you've made a huge change to yourself. Maybe you've turned 180 degrees. Somehow, you're still a gnobgoblin. For no other reason than your insulting comments about people I love, you're an unforgiveable bitchstick. Your attacks on me were humorous, misdirected, unwounding. You'd an odd idea of where my soft spots were but then... that's my fault for making you think that, isn't it? And even though I'm a sneaky and manipulative fuck you're still the bigger asshat. Subjectivity is awesome. Why be objective when being right feels so much better.

In heels as well! Yeah!

Ninjas are better than pirates.

Oh, Stupid Me.

The following is an email sent to Netflix via their "Contact Us" page.

What are the chances I'll have a positive result? I'm not holding my breath. The problem is not that Netflix suck. But I'm asking them to return to me a disc that they must not have ever noticed. My only real hope is that somewhere, in a bin, there's my Harvey Birdman dvd just sitting in the Prairie Home Companion sleeve, completely unrented since I sent it back.

"I emailed a suggestion earlier that you add something to your site for idiots like me who mailed the wrong disk back and didnt realize it until over a month later. I have now determined where the mix-up occured. When I went to mail back A Prairie Home Companion (which I mailed back along with Harry Potter 3 earlier today) I accidently sent Harvey Birdman Season Two: Disc Two in the Prairie Home Companion sleeve. This wouldnt be a big deal if Id rented Harvey Birdman Season 2: Disc 2 from netflix.... but I didnt. I bought it. Now I have a very sad Harvey Birdman Season 2: Disc 1 who sits in his sleeve alone without the companionship of his younger brother (Disc 2). Can you help me? Somewhere youve got an Extra Harvey Birdman Season 2: Disc 2 and Ive already sent back A Prairie Home Companion. Any way youd send my Harvey Birdman Season 2: Disc 2 back to me? Yes, I do like saying Harvey Birdman Season 2: Disc 2."

Thank you for flying Chrurch Of England. Cake or death?

Listen to a Movie...

Ever find that you need some background "ambient" noise while at work? Here is a cool site that allows you to listen to a movie anywhere you can get an internet connection (including your office or cubicle), and you can listen to the full soundtrack...dialog and all from a huge array of movies and TV shows.

Personally, I find this site to be cool, as their catalog of movies to listen to is pretty impressive. I still have yet to figure out how they were able to sidestep the legal copyright issues associated with such a site...but I guess in the end it is not my problem.

"But I was on my way to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters." never sounded so good!

Beer Goggling is now quantifiable

where...

• An = number of units of alcohol consumed
• S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)
• L = luminance of 'person of interest' (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)
• Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)
• d = distance from 'person of interest' (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

I found this at this site which explains why it seems that the fugliest chick in a bar always seems to be more appealing at the end of the night...although it occured to me that the person that would make up an equation like this might get rejected by that beer goggle girl at the end of the night...it works both ways!

Trivia

 Screwtape:  How many did you say there were?

Wormwood:  80 some.  I don't recall exactly.

Screwtape:  Ass clowns, eh?  Huh.

Wormwood:  Not just regular ass clowns.  That's just it.  They're special.  They're completely talentless.

Screwtape:  How does that make them special?

Wormwood:  Consider it.  No talent.  Ass Clowns.  C'MON!

Screwtape:  I just don't see how a no talent ass clown can win a trivia contest.

Wormwood:  Just forget I said anything.

Screwtape:  Don't roll your eyes at me like I'm an idiot just because you can't explain your position.

Wormwood:  You're a pedantic fuck.

Britney Spears...

From lolita to skank in one KFed...anyway...here's a fun little flash game that makes fun of the new Supersized Britney.

Britney Spears Torture Chamber

Enjoy!!!

Hermione Granger?

This isn't right. 

Chat excerpts are easier than actual blogging.

Whackly: http://www.bonnersprings.com/section/archive/story/9865 ok.... i'm reading this cause i thought it'd be interesting

Whackly: and i'm following it all and feeling bad for these people and the "perfect storm" of fuck ups that got them where they are

Whackly: but when the story's author likens their plight to Kafka's existential works I cried BS!

Whackly: This is CLEARLY more like the works of Satre and Kafka's roachman can kiss my ass



p.s. Yes I said "Perfect Storm"..... bite me.

and another thing.... right now.... at 11:07 central time on February 3rd, 2007 The History Channel is showing Planet of The Apes... Charlton Heston and all. maybe i should change this to "File Under Fuck The World"

I found your Mom on the internet.