agnosco verum

icanhascheezburger lolcat builder strikes again.

The beard...

... although hilarious, doesn't really match mine. Actually it does if the beard connected to the hair via sideburns. Sadly, that option did not really exist without choosing a wildy inaccurate hairstyle. Alas, Mrs. Whackly had the final say on the beard and since this one made her giggle like a 14 year old in a tour of a sausage factory I guess it had to stay.

I have to give credit to the roaming gnome for making me realize that the hilariously captioned pictures of cats on the internet were an actual "thing" and not just a random occurence. There are whole communties centered around putting silly captions on pictures of animals (primarily cats) and we've certainly had a bunch of my homemade lolcats here on Mental Fiber.
However, I've tired of looking at my own cats. It's more fun to put captions on pictures of other people's cats.
ICanHasCheezburger to the rescue! They have a lolcat builder. You choose a photo, choose some text, click a button and you become the proud parent of a seemingly ingenious lolcat picture of your own.
I've wasted so much time at this site it's sad. In order to at least pretend that it was all worth it I've decided to post some of my recent work here. I am working with many different computers in the course of each day and each has some of my ICanHasCheezburger lolcats on them.
Today I am putting up the ones that are on the laptop in my living room.

In honor of the Simpsons Movie

Which comes out this weekend. I've created my own Groening-ized Avatar on the Simpsons Movie Site.

SS Manhandler...

Big Gay Al would be proud, but... it seems like yahoo could have found a less 'THUPER photo for their article about healthy smoothies. Nothing like propogating a stereotype.

The Fibrix: Reloaded

It's a well known fact that I'm my own biggest fan. I make myself laugh more than anyone else (true no matter which way you take it). To prove my point I am re-posting some practice SAT/ACT questions I originally wrote in August of 2005.

1. Which of the following sentences is written in passive past tense?
a. My dick itched.
b. My dick was itchy.
c. My dick did itch.

2. Which of the following sentences uses a metaphor?
a. My ass is a jealous girlfriend.
b. My ass is like a jealous girlfriend.
c. My ass is jealous like a girlfriend.

3. Which of the following sentences contains a mispelling?
a. Holy crap, that's the most enormous butt plug I have ever seen.
b. Holy crap, are you planing to put that butt plug in my ass?
c. Holy crap, that is the hugest think I have ever put in my ass.

4. Which of the following is the wrong answer?
a. This one
b. This one
c. The one above this one.
d. All of the above.

5. How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
a. One, to hold the bulb still while the world revolves around her.
b. Two, one to flick the switch on and off in bewilderment and one to call Daddy.
c. Three, one to fix the problem and two to have a naked tickle fight.
d. Four, one to hold the ladder, one to switch bulbs, two to read the directions.

6. Which of the following is an animal?
a. tit
b. dooderfish
c. cooter
d. All of the above

7. Which of the following is not a thinly veiled euphamism representing a sexual act?
a. Gorphing hoagie
b. Colonel Angus
c. Felching
d. Punching pork

8. Which of the following can not be used for insertion and penetration?
a. elbow
b. head
c. kitchen shears
d. none of the above

9. Which of the following is grammatically correct?
a. He banged her like she was out of grade school.
b. The dark tinting on the van window was peeling.
c. Quality nylon ropes do not leave rope burn wounds.
d. All of the above.

10. Kangaroos are to wallabies as "Babe Winkleman" is to "_____."
a. The Flying Dutchman
b. Mackrel flaps
c. Dirty Sanchez
d. Donkey Punch

Heavenly Star...Found The Path to Paradise...

OK, so there is a game called Lumines Live on the XBox 360 that is the most addicting game I've ever played...in fact, Whackly and I play it quite often over the Xbox Live service against each other. Well, there's a band that is featured in an expansion pack for this game called the "Genki Rockets" that has this song that sounds like something out of the Gem and the Holograms if you are a kid of the 80's. In anycase, its annoying as hell, but annoying in a sort of sponge monkey Quizno's advertisement...to this day I can't get the "we love those subs" line out of my head. Anyway, just for you whackly, here's the skanky rockets myspace page!

Gay does not equal predator!!!!!!!!

This story had an unexpected affect on me, today.

I began reading in glee expecting to be thrilled with the exposure of yet another hypocritical republican douche bag.

I was not, however, thrilled with what I read. This man is a State Representative in the state of Florida. There is no doubt that he has both volunteered for and been active in MANY different organizations. However, in a story about him being arrested for soliciting an exchange of oral sex for money (my thoughts on how undercover police prostitution busts cross over the line of entrapment notwithstanding) the only organizations the story's author thought fit to mention were the Little League and Boys and Girls club.

"Allen, is a former Little League volunteer who also donated time to the Boys and Girls Club, serving on its board of directors."

This is a perpetuation of a myth, I feel. Being gay does not make someone a child rapist, pervert, or pederast/pedophile. In fact, and correct me if I'm wrong, but statistically the overwhelming majority of pedophiles and even pederasts are straight. Some might say that's not saying much since the overwhelming majority of actual people are straight. However, I think there is some evidence to show that homosexuals are LESS LIKELY to engage in inappropriate sexual activity with a child.

Why do we allow this shit to go unchallenged?

I was always thinking it.....

Busted Ass Liberty

I don't know where anything is in this town so I didn't get SHIT for good fireworks pictures this year. There are a few that I like but they are just fireworks (the background was so ugly) so you don't have any sense of scale or surroundings. Subsequently they looks like backlit tempra scratchings or lite brite pictures with a bad focus. In the end they are more abstract than anything. I was totally downwind, too, so I had to shoot through all the smoke. Even after all those excuses there are a handful of pictures that I really dig. Here's a sample.