People of Boston:

You are fucking retarded. There is no other explanation for this bomb scare fiasco. The best part is that it's all on film. The people who put up these magnetic LED ads actually put the video of their work on Youtube! The whole world can see that your city went into Blackwatch Plaid (Super Pee Pants) terror alert over some lights in the shape of a cartoon character. First of all, when was the last time Al-Queda actually put lights all over a bomb? Can anyone tell me the why a bomber would light his bomb up like a Christmas Tree? Fuck the lights.. why would a bomber bother be putting a cartoon (especially one that's flipping the bird) on a bomb at all!? He wouldn't! For CHRISSAKES!

In other news:

Some kid is serving 10 years (no parole) and will be permanently registered as a sex offender because an aquaintence voluntarily (2 years his junior-he was 17 and she was 15) gave him a B.J. at a New Year's Eve party. She didn't even swallow.

A substitute teacher is convicted and faces 40 years because a school computer she was using for a presentation in a computer lab hadn't been properly updated or secured by the school's IT personnel and was thoroughly infested with spyware, subsequently causing a Porn Storm of pop-up ads to display pornographic material to the children. It was completely not her fault but the D.A., Judge, and Jury didn't understand the technology and the computer forensics evidence and testimony that completely clears her was suppressed. Mmm Hmm.

This Shit is TRUE! I swear! It IS!

China's military is harvesting body parts for transplant from unwilling prison inmates (the 2nd link is from 2001 and now it's been confirmed so they've been doing this for years and getting away with it by simply denying it)! Not to mention the fact that they are killing Tibetans in the mountains as they make pilgrimages to India to see the Dali Lama.

Germany, and a few other EU countries, have issued arrest warrants for American CIA agents for carrying out Extraordinary Renditions in their countries and on their citizens without permission. Actually you can't carry out an extraordinary rendition without permission. If you do it's actually called kidnapping.

The United States dropped flyers from airplanes over Pakistan offering cash rewards to anyone who turned in a terrorist. I can't imagine why the US Gov has so many prisoners against which they have no evidence. //Sarcasm Fucking witchunt for profit. Also, Pakistan arrests kite flyers.

Scientologists are actually allowed to claim that Scientology is a religion!

This is just a fraction of the fucked up shit that has been happening in the world. And yet, somehow, more retarded than all of that is the fact that Bostonians will completely shit their pants with fear if they see a GOD DAMNED LITE-BRITE!!!!

Belgar of the real people.

I was just reading an article on Digg.com about a boy who killed himself after coming out to his mother.

A user named jhubsch made this comment:

"Amen to this.
Lv 20:13
The kid just did himself a favor."

Another user named belgar responded with this triumphant blow:

"Dear jhubsch,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 20:13 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
//asshat"

Something Dirty recalls reading that before and thinks belgar has stolen it. Possible. I don't really care. It's still awesome and I'm stealing it from him so who am I to judge?