The other day...

Some people apparently think I'm too dumb to notice when they are being condescending. I supposed, often times, I perpetuate this by pretending I don't notice. You will always have the upper hand on someone who underestimates you. However, I'm not really used to it happening all that often and that's why it stuck with me when it happened the other day. I was having an IM conversation with someone I know... someone who probably knows enough about me to realize I'm a know-it-all but probably doesn't know me well enough to know that I've actually read up on the subject I'm talking about most of the time and that I keep my opinions malleable in case additional information is added. I'm not some stubborn stick in the mud whose opinion is unreasonable and unchangeable. We were lightly engaged in a sort of "What I would do if money wasn't an issue." kind of conversation and they mentioned they would go to Jamaica. I mentioned I thought that was strange since it's not exactly a nice or safe place and the same tropical weather can be had in many much safer locations around that region of the world. The response I got was something fairly consdescending and culminated in an outright sarcastic "OK. You're always right. You always know." kind of comment.

Well, with good old Jamaica nestled between South Africa and Sudan in the list of the top 20 dangerous places on the planet, I would like to point out that this would be an good example of a time when you can cram it with walnuts.

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8 posts....

In 8 straight posts (since Mezzo's last) by far the vast majority of the hits to this site are from me coming to see if anyone else has read it or left comments. I think that's an official sign that it's time to wrap it up. What do you think?

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Tomorrow is the first day of the end of your year.

Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the end.
Between now and New Year's Eve your year will summarize itself in an all new, never before seen microcosmic clusterfuck of familiar shittiness; like ABCs primetime linup. Is everyone ready? I know I am.

Between now and 2009 I have every reason to believe I'll find myslef:

Unintentionally drunk.
Completely broke.
Totally swimming in money.
Completely broke again.
Annoyed with a family member.
Angry with a family member.
Drawing plans for a voodoo doll of a family member.
Feeling the hopeful beginnings of the stir of Christmas Spirit.
Disappointed at how Christmas just isn't as fun when you aren't a kid.
Attempting to live vicariously through my child.
Railing against the taint of consumerism.
Singing Christmas carols.
Wondering why in the crap I'm singing Christmas carols.
Feeling sorry for poor people.
Realizing I'm a poor person.
In the mood to give.
In the mood to take.
Punching a bell ringer.
Roughing up that gruff little fellow that thinks he has the right to look in my bag after I checkout at Wal-Mart.
Laughing at how idiots can't drive in snow.
Nearly crashing in the snow and realizing I'm an idiot.
Lying awake staring at the Christmas tree.
Pissed I was awake all night staring at the tree when I don't even drop tabs anymore.
Convincing myself that Holiday sales are a good time to buy stuff I can't afford at a discount.
Converting my buyer's remorse into anger.
Listening to at least one person I know make excuses for their DUI.

How's your Holiday Season shaping up?

All you need is spellchecker!

Anyone can be a critic.  Anyone can be an expert.  All you need is a spellchecker and a 10 minute proofread. 

I just read a review of Weezer: The Red Album (which was too vile to link to) that included pos-mens for some of the weakest songs on the album and actually had an entire paragraph dedicated to the 4th track, Heart Songs.

Heart Songs?  Have you heard this song?  Tito Jackson could eat 8tracks tapes and crap better songs than this sing.  I really like the album.  It's not as awesome as Pinkerton or The Blue Album but there are enough solid tracks on the album to make up for the Beverly Hills single (which still makes me hobo-stabbingly mad).  Even though my overall opinion of the album is that it's quite good I can't believe anyone who would even pretend to know enough about music to critique and album for a publication (it wasn't some asshole's blog like this is) would be moronic enough to fall in love with Heart Songs. 

Damn, people are stupid this week.  They don't know elephants from rhinos, 320kbps mp3 from lossless, and music from Heart Songs.  I can't wait for next Monday, when the world will realign.

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Netflix via 360 FTW

Not yet in surround sound but in HD resolutions, Netflix and Microsoft have just fired the first ballistic missle in the new HD format battle. Small arms fire has come from Apple and a few other places around the web but nothing has matched the significance of yesterday's escalation.

Netflix has been streaming moves for a while. The selection isn't great (since the studios don't particularly like the idea) but you can nearly always find something you like in there. Microsoft has been renting downloadable HD content through xbox Live for even longer. As of yesterday Netflix has now added an HD section to their streamable movies. As of yesterday anyone with an xbox 360 and a Netflix account can stream movies direct to the xbox. The same selection problems exist but there are some shining stars in there. I don't think you have to have a 360 to stream the HD movies but it doesn't hurt the experience. Streaming these movies through the 360 brings Netflix streaming into the living room and into a comfortable movie watching venue without the hassle (and believe me, it is a hassle) of setting up an HTPC and without the troll like solitude of watching a movie alone, on your computer.

Bluray is still struggling to recover from its hard fight with HD-DVD. The question at the end of this sentence has been asked before but with Netflix and the 360 moving into the space there is nobody left who can doubt the validity of inquring "Who the hell needs physical media like Bluray discs if I can pay $15 per month to Netflix and watch all the HD I want?"

I haven't tried streaming HD from Netflix yet, making this post a bit premature. However, I'm just so damned excited by it all I can't hold it in. It is true that the 360 HD movie rentals did suffer slighly in the picture quality department when compared to Bluray/HDDVD. If Netflix has the same issue I would consider it forgivable considering the how fresh the product is. With a little time, a little maturity, a couple of victories under their belt, Netflix might be the weapon Microsoft uses to finally slay Bluray.

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OK. When the fuck did everyone turn stupid?

Using both hemispheres of your brain, assess the information presented in this photo and tell me what animal this is.  You may guess wrong and be forgive but there is one animal it clearly is not.  If you guess that animal I will hate you.

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If it's going to be that kind of party I'm going to stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.

1. Job Frustration
2. Aneurysm
3. ???
4. Profit!!!

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I woke up on the floor after I read this and my left eyeball was blood red.

I think I completely stroked out.

I went to Microsoft's email support and wrote them to tell them that, even though I had followed all of the steps outlined in their procedure, I had not been able to recover my content drm. What they returned was a copy/paste of the sheet of instructions that had come with my refurb unit that outlined the instructions, I had just written to tell them, hadn't worked. I'm thinking there was a mistake, type, snafu in whatever process they use to txfr the licenses over when they ship a refurb unit. They're thinking about rainbows and fairy farts or whatever the hell it is people think about when they answer without reading the fucking question.

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft online support for XBOX. I am Ashley and I will be helping you today with this issue.

I understand that you would like to know on how to reactivate your premium content or to restore your Digital Rights Management (DRM) licenses after you receive your console back from being repaired. We appreciate your inquiry and we are glad to be of help.

If you follow these steps, you can access your content while you're not signed in to Xbox LIVE.

Note: If you exchanged your console at a retail store by using the retailer's return policy instead of sending the console directly to the Xbox Repair Center, these steps do not restore your licenses. In this case, you must do one of the following:

. Use the DRM tool found at http://xbox.com/drm

. Contact Xbox Support to have your licenses manually restored

To view the FAQ for the DRM tool, visit the following Microsoft Web site:

http://www.xbox.com/en-US/support/systemuse/xbox360/licensemigration/faq.htm

If you previously downloaded content from Xbox LIVE Marketplace, you must connect to Xbox LIVE to restore the licenses for that content on your specific Xbox 360 console, if you want to use the content when you are not connected to Xbox LIVE.

To restore your licenses, follow these steps:

1. Attach the hard drive or memory unit to your Xbox 360 console. This should be the hard drive or memory unit you originally downloaded the content to.

2. Turn on your Xbox 360 console.

3. Sign in to Xbox LIVE with the gamer profile that originally downloaded the content.

4. Go to Xbox Marketplace. Select Account Management, and then select Download History.

5. Select an item, and then select Download Again.

6. Repeat step 5 for each item in your download history.

After you have downloaded your content again, anyone will be able use that content on that Xbox 360 console, regardless of whether the person is signed in to Xbox LIVE or not.

Note: License restoration works only on the Xbox 360 console that has been returned to you.

You may also choose to call Xbox Phone Support for further assistance. For US and Canada customers, you may call Xbox Customer Service at 1-800-469-9269 at your earliest convenience, and we'll be happy to help you. We are open everyday from 6am to 10pm US Pacific Time.

For international customers, please contact Xbox Customer Service in your local region. (To find the correct Customer Service number for your region first use this link http://www.xbox.com/en-US/ChangeLocale.htm to select the appropriate country and then use the contact number found under the support menu). You may also call international assistance (direct dial to the US) by dialing 425-635-7180.

To expedite service, please provide Service Request Number *********** when you call.

Thank you for visiting Xbox.com. If you should have future questions on Xbox products or services, please be sure to revisit our Web site as we are continually adding information to enhance our service.

Best Regards,

Ashley

Microsoft XBOX Support Services

http://support.microsoft.com/

Thanks a million Ashley.

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Saw this on Digg. .... *shudder*

What in the crispy cornbattered christ!?

Thanks, Digg, for taking a huge dumb in my brain every morning for the last 3 years.

How the hell am I going to kill enough brain cells to forget about that?

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Funny enough for you?

Apparently, according to the fan, the quality of this blog has lessened.  It seems the audience tunes in to Mental Fiber for humor and gross-out videos and the boys just haven't been scratching the itch lately.  Subsequently I'd like to recommend this link for those who are no longer finding what they need in our pages.  Perhaps, betwixt the copypasta and pedobear thumbs-up pics you'll find the banality you seek.

-Tad Whackly
CSO of The D.A.G.

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Phishing Scam Alert...

I received this phishing scam today in my email wanting information about a Chase Bank Account. You can see in the email, that they've cleverly given a false URL link in the body of the email, with a different URL forward.

The thing that I don't understand about this is...if these scammers took the time to do this scam, why couldn't they have taken the extra step and made the false URL an HTTPS call instead of an HTTP call? Right away that is a dead give away, since nothing done in the banking world is ever done on an unsecure channel.

You can see that the URL forward goes to a website in Czech...stupid scammers! Be on alert if you receive any emails like the above in your inbox!!!

Alton Brown Was Wrong

I just watched the cracker episode of Good Eats and I have to say that Alton was wrong.  Dead wrong.  He's been wrong before but I think, in this case, he was wrong in a way that could cause real and lasting problems for a few people under the right (or, in fact, wrong) circumstances.

Having a family member who experienced this directly and having recently researched false positives for my own reasons I can say with unshakeable conviction that, no matter what Alton Brown tells you, consuming poppy seeds can cause you to fail a drug test.  In some people even small quantities are enough.  Braniac, Food Detectives, Mythbusters, Snopes, and various others throughout news, entertainment, and internet media have confirmed it but that's just the popular culture evidence. 

Scientific study has proven it is possible time and time again to the point where the cut-off level required for a positive result was actually raised to reduce the number of false positives in the drug testing industry.  Even as the drug testing industry spokespeople were paying doctors to go on T.V. and claim it wasn't possible they were raising this limit due to the amount of money being lost in lawsuits brought by dismissed employees who had been sacked due to the results of the false positives. 

The raised level has reduced the number of false positives but it wasn't really good enough.  Here's why.  Even with the change in the cut-off level it is still possible to test positive with nothing more than a bagel or some poppy seed bread or a handful of crackers.  There are many variables such as differences in body chemistry, differences in poppy seeds (as an agricultural product they actually vary quite a bit), body weight, what the seeds were consumed with, how long ago they were consumed, how well they were chewed, and so on. 

The other problem is that the raised cut-off level have also increased the number of false negatives.  My personal opinion is that your job and your government should be the hell out of your personal life and you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want so long as you are safely sober when you're on the clock.  However, opiate addicts, unlike users of other drugs I've discussed on this blog before, are much more likely to have a real problem and need real help.  Skating by with a negative when you should have tested positive isn't really doing you any favors.

What is needed is a either a new test or a new approach to testing.  I don't have all the answers and I can't say that I support any of the various active organizations working in this area.  I may agree with most of their views but, in my mind, all of them will eventually cross a line that I'm uncomfortable with.  For instance, I'm all for decriminalization but I can't support the legalization of all drugs.  You don't have to run in to many crack, meth, or huffing addicts to realize that not everything should be legalized. 

My suggestion to everyone is that you should all open your own mind.  Go look at the info and make your own decision.  Whatever you do don't believe everything you are told, no matter how trusted the source.  Whether it's Alton Brown, the D.E.A., your naive-to-the-point-of-sillines mother-in-law, or me telling you what to think you're better off drawing your own conclusions; even if they are wrong.  People who draw their own conclusions are more willing to change their mind if new information is presented.  So, to me, even if you search out the info and decide I'm full of crap the fact that you got there on your own means there is a chance that, with logic and data, I can change your mind.

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Mezzo cut an album?

On Friday somebody here will enter the realistic halfway point for average life expectancy.  If the last half were the best half it probably wouldn't be so bad.  Having worked your way out of diapers it's time to consider that you're actually on your way back into them.  Not to mention the drooling and the being fed with a rubber coated spoon.  Might as well get started now by pulling up your pants and watching the 6PM news.

Also... WTF

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It's not the Wigsphere...

But it is the giftshop at The Simpsons ride at Universal Orlando. Too bad most of the stuff inside the store was mostly generic Simpson's merchandise. I was hoping to find more stuff inside that you could only get at Universal. We did make Homer and Bart flattened pennies though which was about as original as we were going to get.

Oh, no he f---ing didn't!

Yes, I did.

A Star Wars Fans Dream...

At Disney Hollywood Studios I went on the Star Tours Ride, which is billed as the ultimate thrill ride for the Star Wars fan. The ride was ok, but nothing earth shattering. It basically took us on a ride to endor through outerspace. It reminded me a lot of the flight to Mars ride that use to be in the Mars Restaurant at Woodfield Mall...nothing earth shattering. However, the full scale replica of an AT AT outside the entrance was enough to get me excited. Why do I have the feeling that I'm going to be able to personally relate to the characters in the Fanboys movie that is coming out soon?

As far as space rides go...if you are at Disney, take pictures outside of Star Tours, skip the ride, and head over to Epcot and ride the Mission Space Simulator over there. That one is way more realistic, and actually puts some G forces on your body as you launch towards Mars...

Parkour In Game

Mirror's Edge

Have you seen the trailers and hype for this game? Early reviews are the best so far this year. There's a demo up on XBL this week. I think I'm going to go play it. If the game delivers on the promise of the trailers... I think I'm in love.

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Daylight, I Miss You

With the recent time change here the sun is now setting so early that if I don't get an early start on the day I'm lucky if it still light when I'm done.  Soon, in the depths of winter I will both start and end my work day in the dark.  So I've been trying to get started a little earlier so I an enjoy the magic hour lighting for photography purposes rather than work during that time.  Today I came home for lunch and to change socks (had a hole in the left one) and my damned cat has been so warm, snuggly, and happy to see me that I've been home an hour longer than I intended.  Cats are evil.

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Decisive

Can you feel the difference yet?

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Voter Intimidation

Early reports of voter intimidation in St. Louis have surfaced. Unfortunately the evidence is a bit thin. I'm certain that, somewhere, in this election there will be real voter intimidation and I hope a few people crying wolf don't cause real issues to be ignored. Take some ID with you when you vote. Everywhere is different and accepts different forms of identification but no matter where you live you should be able to find out what kind of I.D. you need and you should be able to find something acceptable. Here in Ohio they will accept a utility bill, for Pete's sake. There's no reason to not have some form of I.D. on you

Apparently,

I'm a big celebrity in Germany. At the Epcot park there was an exhibit put on by coca cola showcasing the different international flavors of their beverages around the world. Mezzo Mix was actually my favorite, and not because it was named after me!

Some of the more interesting flavors tastes like V8 juice. Yuck!!!!

This is from the hearings in Ohio. Nothing ever came of this. Imagine that.

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Don't believe everything you're told. Don't even believe this. Go get your own info!

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Them's Fightin' Words

Just so you can be aware of the meaning when you hear this phrase on T.V. or the radio.

2008 in United States Of America

"The Obama Question"
1.  Question his origin
2.  Question his patriotism
3.  Question whether he is an agent of socialism in disguise
4.  ?

1843-1945 in Eastern Europe and Germany

"The Jewish Question" or "Judenfrage"
1.  Question his origin
2.  Question his patriotism
3.  Question whether he is in agent of socialism in disguise
4.  Implement the "Final Solution To The Jewish Question"

Whether the people who use the phrase realize its racist roots or not the people who coined it did and the fact that the phrase exist is no unfortunate coincidence. 

Also, take into account the White Supremacist's "14 Words."  It is a quote from founding member of "The Order" David Lane.

"We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children."

If you remove the word "white" I'm pretty sure I've actually heard Palin say almost exactly this.  I've been googling like mad to find it quoted or cited somewhere but I haven't had any luck.  If anyone else heard it let me know.

Whether Palin or the RIght Wing talking heads are racists or not is irrelevant.  Certain words arranged into particular patterns have histories and meanings beyond what was literally uttered.  They should be condemned for not avoiding those phrases nearly as much as they should be condemned for using them on purpose.  One option is willfull and mean and the other is neglectful and irresponsible. 

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I need a Delorean

Turns out that the Back to the Future ride no longer exists at Universal, as they closed of down last spring to make way for... The Simpsons ride.

The Simpsons ride was fun, and I think it used all the old ride hardware from the BTTF ride...they just changed the video and the ride controls. How ironic that the only way for me to experience the BTTF ride is to have a time machine!!!

China at Night

The Epcot experience has been wonderful. The food and wine festival has been a great experience. So far, my favorite food has been the spaetzel in Germany, and the beef empanada's from Santiago Chile.

It is a great experience to be able to sample food and drink from all over the world all in one day. The crowds have been less than average, and with exception of the first day the weather has been very nice.

The downside, is that I have the stupid song from Figment's imagination land stuck on my head. It is almost as annoying as "It's a Small World".

Today we are off to Universal Studios as we are taking our hiatus from the land of Disney. I'm looking forward to going 88 miles per hour as 1.2¹gigawatts goes through the flux capacitor and sends me "Back to the Future"!!!!