Chicken Dick Superspy Threatens "Athletes"

At today's Bronze medal curling match between the U.K. and the U.S.A. (two nations whose Olympic Atheletes have been identified as "most likely" targets for terroist activity) a lone superspy, using the ancient arts of the ninja, snuck past a seemingly impossible army of security personell, interpol agents, U.S. Secret Service agents, Italian military, M.I.6 agents, and ex-Israeli soldiers in private secuiry roles disguised as peanut vendors and Swedish tourists. Ingeniously disguised as a man with a rubber chicken penis and with an internet casino advertisement painted on his chest he nearly completed his goal of giving the entire U.S. and U.K. curling teams a pressed ham in the name of Allah before he was tackled by a North Korean referee who thought the rubber chicken was real and edible. Thank God for Kim Il Soong and his son for without the slow starvation of the North Korean people hundreds of innocent people, including the President of the I.O.C. might have seen the perpatrators hate filled stink star.