Fucking Women! .... well... men too.. but DAMN!
Why can't you people get to the god damned point? I don't want explainations. I don't want extrapolations. I want facts. I don't care about most of the details. I want the bottom line.
If my wife says to me "Whackly, I was thinking Lil' Whackly is getting a little older now and he's been doing well with this and that so I was thinking it might be time for us to consider getting _______." I want to just roll over and die.
Why not say "I want to buy a. ________ and it costs b. _________." If I want to know why I will ask. Isn't that reasonable?
Let's say, because it's plausible to the point of being probable, that a trip for my wife and son to her hometown has rendered us temporarily flat broke. Like, just barely making the bills this month broke. Of course that would be the time that the car begins to break down, right? And then, because being fucked by life only comes in two flavors ("not being fucked at all" and "unlubricated multiple penetration"), my wife's employer screws up her paycheck and shorts her. That would be the soft of thing that makes me mad. The rest of that shit.. well it is what it is... but we don't go to work every day to NOT GET PAID. So I assign my wife to finding out when she will get the money. That is my only concern. Will the money come in time? She makes calls, has meetings, does whatever. I come home and ask for a report. Let's just say, as a hypothetical reality, that the report goes something like this. "Wul, [I think it's supposed to mean "well" but any sentence that starts this way is only leading to anger] they said they'd send in for a special check and that it would probably be approved tomorrow. Then they will send it."
I say "When will it get here?"
She says "Wul, [I'd like to interject to say I absolutely HATE the "Wul Defense"] I don't know. Sometime next week."
"Will it be direct deposit or an actual check?"
"I don't know."
"Our bank is in MN and we live in OH. We would have to mail it. That IS relevant. Did you ask?"
"No."
Ok... let's regroup and get this straight. Meetings, phone calls, recon, and a whole 8-piece bucket of bullshit and we are no closer to an answer? Why do I bother? I might be looking at taking loan out of my 401k to get us through this (dude.. the 401k website says it's all real fast and painless and you'll have the money in a couple of days but after you click on all the shit you have to click on they tell you they'll mail you an application and once they've recieved it your request will take about 2 weeks to process and THEN you'll have your money in days. ... wtf). I might be completely freaking out! I might be considering that we'll have to call and get copies of credit cards we've cut up and have been paying off and charge the fucker back up to keep from going ass up. And who knows. I could be out of a job at any moment! [My Company] enters into a deal with [witheld]. OH is going to [witheld]. We're all told "[witheld] will want to keep all of our OH employees." Yeah, I've heard that shit before. They we all have to take insider trading and insider information courses so the company can cover their ass legally but they never trust us with any information we can use anyhow. I have to find out what's happening in my own fucking company from the front page at Digg.com. If I ask about what I read at Digg.com or Xohm.com they don't answer my questions. I've made changed to my 401k witholding percentage MONTHS ago but every paycheck they still deduct the old amount. Every two weeks I email the dude in HR and he forwards the email to somebody in corporate and copies me and I hear nothing.
We are not allowed to get overtime. I'm still on call and there are still only three of us to do the same amount of work that other markets have (not kidding) 6 people to do but I can't get overtime. It used to be that if I was called out in the middle of the night it was recorded seperately from my regualr 40 hours. Now it's all the same thing so I'm working all kinds of retarded hours and I'm tired all the time. Tuesday I got called to work at 5:45. I worked until 7:30pm. Today I started work at 9 and got home at 6. I have to leave here again at 12:30 AM and work until 6AM or so. Then I'm still on call and shit. But I don't have a lot of hours left. I have to pretty much excuse myself from doing any regular work because if I do get called out in the middle of the night and end up getting overtime I'd probably damn near get fired. My boss would get fired, anyway. What happens if I don't get called out? Well I'll have to turn in a paycheck with less than 40 hours on it. I can't claim to have worked hours I didn't work, especially when all of us have to accound for every minute of every day in a handly little micro-managing spreadsheet. I haven't slept properly in a month. I am just damned pissed off. That just makes it harded when I do something like... say.... call home ask my wife to go to Target because we are out of milk and I don't want to stop on my way home I just want to come home and breath slowly on the couch for 5 minutes. Like today, when I'm tired all day and I'm on my way home and I see an email that there's a problem at a site. They didn't even call me. They called the other tech. I could have gone home and pretended I didn't see the email. But companies expect employees to be loyal and ethical (even when they are decietful and crooked in return) and like the dutiful dumb-ass sap that I am I veer off the road home and head off to yet another lesson in corporate stupidity (I really want to talk about my wife not going to Target but I have to put this in somewhere. Our cabinets have airconditioning/heating units to keep our equipment at the right temperature. Our NIC, which are the people who handle parts and supplies and shit, will not send us backups or spares of these units. They insist we call these people who troubleshoot with us, or at least they are supposed to. In my experience you call them and they say "OK... what site is it at? We'll have it serviced or send a replacement. We'll call you tomorrow with more info." Great. They'll call us tomorrow. Meanwhile I have a site with no AC in 90 degree heat with 80 percent humidity and all the equip will be cooked. Until that AC unit is fixed that time is counting against us too. It counts against ME that there is a site having an issue. If I had a spare airconditioning unit it would have been fixed in 30 minutes but because they won't let us have spares I have to take the hit for the 3 or 4 days it's going to take for the process they elected to use takes to be completed. We can even take the hit on stuff we have nothing to do with. If the people in the network operations center send us an email that they are doing an upgrade we can't say no to it. If they hose the upgrad, as they have done, and bring down a bunch of sites for a while we get in trouble for it. Our downtime is affected and our operations people get yelled at during the quarterly operations review.)
She says no and I can accept that. She's as tired as I am. But then she uses the car as an excuse. She doesn't want to go to Target because she's afraid the car will stall. Bad move. If the car is going to break down I'd rather have it happen on a Tuesday night AFTER work when I can do something about it than on a Wenesday morning when she's on her way to work and I have crazy important underpaid fucked in the butt technical jackassery to attend to. I told her that. If she didn't want to go she could say "No. I don't want to go. I'm tired." Instead, however, she feels she needs to sell me on the idea. She needs to convince me that it's OK for her not to go and in doing so takes a shit right into a 90 mph straight line wind. Nobody sells me shit. Nobody. Just give it to me straight and if I can't take it that's my problem. Especially when even God himself seeks to prove me right. Guess when the car broke down. JUST FUCKING GUESS!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I
am
so
fucking
Pissed
Off
RIGHT
NOW!
I FUCKING HATE MY GOD DAMNED JOB! No... I HATE THE COMPANY I WORK FOR. I wanted to work for this company. I never thought, in a million years, I could see one company contradict itself in so many ways. Every company has a credo or a set of "core values" and everyone knows it's bullshit. Everyone knows that an employer has only as much loyalty to an employee as it can fit behind the bottom line and yet expects some kind of warm and fuzzy brainwashed obedience in return. My employer is like that. They all are. The problem is my employer has a good technology. One that it ruins with ridiculous sales people, retarded marketing, and a complete clusterfuck of crippled bureaucracy. Retards humping doorknobs are more efficient. They are probably more considerate of ther other people involved in the effort as well.
I moved to OH with a clear understanding that it was a stepping stone to someplace else (like Chicago) where I want to live. That's gone. It's just not going to happen. [witheld] is getting that too. [witheld] is already building Chicago. So I either stay here and work for [witheld] in OH if by some complete cosmic oddity the "[witheld] is going to keep everyone" bullshit is acutally true or I have to find somewhere to go within the company I'm with. Great. Being between a rock and a hard place is better. I'm still recovering, financially, from moving here. Now I'm going to have to move again.... maybe... if I could actually get some information on where I could move. Nobody in the delicate scrim wrapped around a drying white dog terd this company has become knows a single damned thing. NOTHING. What's being built? No clue. What's coming up? It's a secret. Fuck it. You know, I hated my stupid office job with this company for all these reasons. I thought that in the field it would be better. For a while it was. Then the bullshit monster came back, but it had a bunch more heads. It's like a fucking hydra only each head is a penis not a face and it molests you in the search for one more hole to fuck you in.
P.S. If any of you, like last time, decide to say something in the comments that actually identifies my employer in some way .... I WILL KILL YOU.
Oh... I'm not kidding. You won't even see it coming. I will tiptoe my fat ass up behind you so sweetly that even the wind will feel like it's being ticked. There will, however, be no tickling.
Have you ever had a dream where you woke up in the middle of the night suddenly and there was someone standing over your bed in shadowy profile with only his contemptuous sneer and Ken Onion designed Kershaw as visible detail? Oh yeah.... and I'll start with your pets first.
If my wife says to me "Whackly, I was thinking Lil' Whackly is getting a little older now and he's been doing well with this and that so I was thinking it might be time for us to consider getting _______." I want to just roll over and die.
Why not say "I want to buy a. ________ and it costs b. _________." If I want to know why I will ask. Isn't that reasonable?
Let's say, because it's plausible to the point of being probable, that a trip for my wife and son to her hometown has rendered us temporarily flat broke. Like, just barely making the bills this month broke. Of course that would be the time that the car begins to break down, right? And then, because being fucked by life only comes in two flavors ("not being fucked at all" and "unlubricated multiple penetration"), my wife's employer screws up her paycheck and shorts her. That would be the soft of thing that makes me mad. The rest of that shit.. well it is what it is... but we don't go to work every day to NOT GET PAID. So I assign my wife to finding out when she will get the money. That is my only concern. Will the money come in time? She makes calls, has meetings, does whatever. I come home and ask for a report. Let's just say, as a hypothetical reality, that the report goes something like this. "Wul, [I think it's supposed to mean "well" but any sentence that starts this way is only leading to anger] they said they'd send in for a special check and that it would probably be approved tomorrow. Then they will send it."
I say "When will it get here?"
She says "Wul, [I'd like to interject to say I absolutely HATE the "Wul Defense"] I don't know. Sometime next week."
"Will it be direct deposit or an actual check?"
"I don't know."
"Our bank is in MN and we live in OH. We would have to mail it. That IS relevant. Did you ask?"
"No."
Ok... let's regroup and get this straight. Meetings, phone calls, recon, and a whole 8-piece bucket of bullshit and we are no closer to an answer? Why do I bother? I might be looking at taking loan out of my 401k to get us through this (dude.. the 401k website says it's all real fast and painless and you'll have the money in a couple of days but after you click on all the shit you have to click on they tell you they'll mail you an application and once they've recieved it your request will take about 2 weeks to process and THEN you'll have your money in days. ... wtf). I might be completely freaking out! I might be considering that we'll have to call and get copies of credit cards we've cut up and have been paying off and charge the fucker back up to keep from going ass up. And who knows. I could be out of a job at any moment! [My Company] enters into a deal with [witheld]. OH is going to [witheld]. We're all told "[witheld] will want to keep all of our OH employees." Yeah, I've heard that shit before. They we all have to take insider trading and insider information courses so the company can cover their ass legally but they never trust us with any information we can use anyhow. I have to find out what's happening in my own fucking company from the front page at Digg.com. If I ask about what I read at Digg.com or Xohm.com they don't answer my questions. I've made changed to my 401k witholding percentage MONTHS ago but every paycheck they still deduct the old amount. Every two weeks I email the dude in HR and he forwards the email to somebody in corporate and copies me and I hear nothing.
We are not allowed to get overtime. I'm still on call and there are still only three of us to do the same amount of work that other markets have (not kidding) 6 people to do but I can't get overtime. It used to be that if I was called out in the middle of the night it was recorded seperately from my regualr 40 hours. Now it's all the same thing so I'm working all kinds of retarded hours and I'm tired all the time. Tuesday I got called to work at 5:45. I worked until 7:30pm. Today I started work at 9 and got home at 6. I have to leave here again at 12:30 AM and work until 6AM or so. Then I'm still on call and shit. But I don't have a lot of hours left. I have to pretty much excuse myself from doing any regular work because if I do get called out in the middle of the night and end up getting overtime I'd probably damn near get fired. My boss would get fired, anyway. What happens if I don't get called out? Well I'll have to turn in a paycheck with less than 40 hours on it. I can't claim to have worked hours I didn't work, especially when all of us have to accound for every minute of every day in a handly little micro-managing spreadsheet. I haven't slept properly in a month. I am just damned pissed off. That just makes it harded when I do something like... say.... call home ask my wife to go to Target because we are out of milk and I don't want to stop on my way home I just want to come home and breath slowly on the couch for 5 minutes. Like today, when I'm tired all day and I'm on my way home and I see an email that there's a problem at a site. They didn't even call me. They called the other tech. I could have gone home and pretended I didn't see the email. But companies expect employees to be loyal and ethical (even when they are decietful and crooked in return) and like the dutiful dumb-ass sap that I am I veer off the road home and head off to yet another lesson in corporate stupidity (I really want to talk about my wife not going to Target but I have to put this in somewhere. Our cabinets have airconditioning/heating units to keep our equipment at the right temperature. Our NIC, which are the people who handle parts and supplies and shit, will not send us backups or spares of these units. They insist we call these people who troubleshoot with us, or at least they are supposed to. In my experience you call them and they say "OK... what site is it at? We'll have it serviced or send a replacement. We'll call you tomorrow with more info." Great. They'll call us tomorrow. Meanwhile I have a site with no AC in 90 degree heat with 80 percent humidity and all the equip will be cooked. Until that AC unit is fixed that time is counting against us too. It counts against ME that there is a site having an issue. If I had a spare airconditioning unit it would have been fixed in 30 minutes but because they won't let us have spares I have to take the hit for the 3 or 4 days it's going to take for the process they elected to use takes to be completed. We can even take the hit on stuff we have nothing to do with. If the people in the network operations center send us an email that they are doing an upgrade we can't say no to it. If they hose the upgrad, as they have done, and bring down a bunch of sites for a while we get in trouble for it. Our downtime is affected and our operations people get yelled at during the quarterly operations review.)
She says no and I can accept that. She's as tired as I am. But then she uses the car as an excuse. She doesn't want to go to Target because she's afraid the car will stall. Bad move. If the car is going to break down I'd rather have it happen on a Tuesday night AFTER work when I can do something about it than on a Wenesday morning when she's on her way to work and I have crazy important underpaid fucked in the butt technical jackassery to attend to. I told her that. If she didn't want to go she could say "No. I don't want to go. I'm tired." Instead, however, she feels she needs to sell me on the idea. She needs to convince me that it's OK for her not to go and in doing so takes a shit right into a 90 mph straight line wind. Nobody sells me shit. Nobody. Just give it to me straight and if I can't take it that's my problem. Especially when even God himself seeks to prove me right. Guess when the car broke down. JUST FUCKING GUESS!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I
am
so
fucking
Pissed
Off
RIGHT
NOW!
I FUCKING HATE MY GOD DAMNED JOB! No... I HATE THE COMPANY I WORK FOR. I wanted to work for this company. I never thought, in a million years, I could see one company contradict itself in so many ways. Every company has a credo or a set of "core values" and everyone knows it's bullshit. Everyone knows that an employer has only as much loyalty to an employee as it can fit behind the bottom line and yet expects some kind of warm and fuzzy brainwashed obedience in return. My employer is like that. They all are. The problem is my employer has a good technology. One that it ruins with ridiculous sales people, retarded marketing, and a complete clusterfuck of crippled bureaucracy. Retards humping doorknobs are more efficient. They are probably more considerate of ther other people involved in the effort as well.
I moved to OH with a clear understanding that it was a stepping stone to someplace else (like Chicago) where I want to live. That's gone. It's just not going to happen. [witheld] is getting that too. [witheld] is already building Chicago. So I either stay here and work for [witheld] in OH if by some complete cosmic oddity the "[witheld] is going to keep everyone" bullshit is acutally true or I have to find somewhere to go within the company I'm with. Great. Being between a rock and a hard place is better. I'm still recovering, financially, from moving here. Now I'm going to have to move again.... maybe... if I could actually get some information on where I could move. Nobody in the delicate scrim wrapped around a drying white dog terd this company has become knows a single damned thing. NOTHING. What's being built? No clue. What's coming up? It's a secret. Fuck it. You know, I hated my stupid office job with this company for all these reasons. I thought that in the field it would be better. For a while it was. Then the bullshit monster came back, but it had a bunch more heads. It's like a fucking hydra only each head is a penis not a face and it molests you in the search for one more hole to fuck you in.
P.S. If any of you, like last time, decide to say something in the comments that actually identifies my employer in some way .... I WILL KILL YOU.
Oh... I'm not kidding. You won't even see it coming. I will tiptoe my fat ass up behind you so sweetly that even the wind will feel like it's being ticked. There will, however, be no tickling.
Have you ever had a dream where you woke up in the middle of the night suddenly and there was someone standing over your bed in shadowy profile with only his contemptuous sneer and Ken Onion designed Kershaw as visible detail? Oh yeah.... and I'll start with your pets first.
posted by Unknown at 6:06 PM
8 Comments:
Stick with [withheld] till [withheld] has the new stuff on the tower - then you're more valuable to the new [dickheads] and we can all dance around in the shower of stupid [withheld] that gets flung cuz someone up top is loading thier pockets. At least [withholding]'s techs don't deal with moron customers, no truck rolls.
It's all a corporate [circle] jerk - get your rain coat out and don't get any on ya. I'm not saying stick around but at least the new [jackasses] can get you to where you want to be. But to ease your way in it'll be better to know the equipment and then you're an asset (it's not just me saying this they currently run dual techs for the market due to no crosstraining). Then you can change to a yellow rain poncho and start the dance under a different [cockoff].
Under a lighter note - normally I'm bored with "the onion radio news" but the one i heard today was about a feces throwing fight. currently there is a draw with no clear winners, but after supper fighting is certain to resume with more hollering and feces being flung. Reminds me of work...
Bad day?
jumper!!!!! Something Dirty is dead, I think. I mean, I heard from her that one time and since then nothing but silence. I think she tripped on a roller skate and fell on a kitchen knife or something. You should go to her apt. and see if it stinks like corpse outside.
I'll stop by on my way home from work. I've actually had that experience before. My ex had a neighbor that died and because he was a loner, no one really gave a shit. He was dead in the apartment about 50 feet away for about a week. Finally we had to go to a hotel to sleep and we called the cops. Gross!! Seriously though, I'm going to call her to check on her. I miss SD:(
ps. Don't be so mad at the wife. Chances are she has communicated the same way since before you were married. Sounds as if you are running out of patience. You might just be losing your damn mind. Um....good luck with that, wish I could help. You really shouldn't focus on how she tells you stuff though. That is a losing battle and she will end up hating you if you pick her apart like that.
she hates me already and she's fully aware that she has communication problems. and yes, i have run out of patience, but i think the post reveals what's really pissing me off and it isn't mrs. whackly.
i feel for ya whackly. i don't have anything to say to make it better. or anything to send or give. just know that i am still your friend and you can call and bitch and freak if you need to.
maybe we can even tread into some light laughter, even if it's maniacal. breathe. that's all i got.
Oh yes, I know that. Your job sucks ass. That part was more interesting to me than your job stuff. Sorry bout that.
Ok, hi there! Damn, I can't believe [withheld] is fucking with you again. Some chick I know just told me she got a job in the office here, she's super excited about it.
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