Nuesday (Breaking News)

Spelunking Astronauts Risk Lives For Science

Astronauts from all over the world are beginning training with both the E.S.A. and N.A.S.A for a joint mission to explore the vast canyons and caverns found in the southern hemishpere of Earth's newly discovered 2nd moon, Shaqueefa. A new two stage launch is currently planned with the astronauts boarding a flight/mission craft from the International Space Station and stopping to refuel at the McDonald's near which Shaqeefa's orbit is fixed. Scientists are expecting to find large deposits of fossilized biomass and huge deposits of hydrocarbon fuel. It is believed that Shaqueefa was formed during the same Earth impact whose ejecta also formed the moon. Said Shaqueefa's mother "I remember the impact but it's not like the Earth moved or anything."