Nuesday

Global Warming Studies Proven False

After a recent study, the National Association of Climatologists reported that global warming seems to have been a phantom trend. Those predicting doom and gloom due to greenhouse gasses were astounded by the finding. Dr. Robert Freeze said that the findings were so inconclusive, that he was convinced that the whole myth of global warming could have been a product of a mis-information campaign headed by the group HVAC for Life.

Not only is global warming possibly non-existent, but Global Cooling could be a real reality. Talking to the locals in Iron Mountain, Michigan last week, it was discovered that the temperatures have been decreasing rapidly ever since August, to record lows this week of -10 below zero. Local resident Cletus "One-Nut" McGinty said, " It's colder than a witches t*t out there, I should know about cold...they call me one-nut because I lost a testicle back in odd six due to frostbite from trying to take a p*ss in the snow. When something like that happens to you, you never forget it. If the cold trends continue, by May it will be -200 degrees...talk about freezin'." Is Global cooling a reality? Only time will tell, in the meantime better break out the Brandy and be prepared to start hunting Polar Bears.