College Prep with Whackly
We here at Mental Fiber are always looking for ways to help out our readership. Any assistance we can give to those people who take time from thier goat raping and movies about trains with hot midgets to participate in our little corner of space and time makes us feel all fuzzy inside, but not warm. We know that many of you will be entering your senior year of high school this year and whether you know it or not the A.C.T.s and S.A.T.s are looming over your future like Jeff Smith with nothing but an apron on hangs over an intern (The Frugal Gourmet was innocent BTW). "Hot wok, cold oil, food won't stick!" Since this is such an important time in your life we have decided to throw you some P.S.A.T. style prep. The following questions are designed to help you understand the style of questions you are likely to encounter on the S.A.T.s but with content that you, the reader, can enjoy.
1. Which of the following sentences is written in passive past tense?
a. My dick itched.
b. My dick was itchy.
c. My dick did itch.
2. Which of the following sentences uses a metaphor?
a. My ass is a jealous girlfriend.
b. My ass is like a jealous girlfriend.
c. My ass is jealous like a girlfriend.
3. Which of the following sentences contains a mispelling?
a. Holy crap, that's the most enormous butt plug I have ever seen.
b. Holy crap, are you planing to put that butt plug in my ass?
c. Holy crap, that is the hugest think I have ever put in my ass.
4. Which of the following is the wrong answer?
a. This one
b. This one
c. The one above this one.
d. All of the above.
5. How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
a. One, to hold the bulb still while the world revolves around her.
b. Two, one to flick the switch on and off in bewilderment and one to call Daddy.
c. Three, one to fix the problem and two to have a naked tickle fight.
d. Four, one to hold the ladder, one to switch bulbs, two to read the directions.
6. Which of the following is an animal?
a. tit
b. dooderfish
c. cooter
d. All of the above
7. Which of the following is not a thinly veiled euphamism representing a sexual act?
a. Gorphing hoagie
b. Colonel Angus
c. Felching
d. Punching pork
8. Which of the following can not be used for insertion and penetration?
a. elbow
b. head
c. kitchen shears
d. none of the above
9. Which of the following is grammatically correct?
a. He banged her like she was out of grade school.
b. The dark tinting on the van window was peeling.
c. Quality nylon ropes do not leave rope burn wounds.
d. All of the above.
10. Kangaroos are to wallabies as "Babe Winkleman" is to "_____."
a. The Flying Dutchman
b. Mackrel flaps
c. Dirty Sanchez
d. Donkey Punch
Please post your answers in the comments. The best score will win something. I dunno what. It will probably suck. However, merely by participating you will have increased your chances of future success.
1. Which of the following sentences is written in passive past tense?
a. My dick itched.
b. My dick was itchy.
c. My dick did itch.
2. Which of the following sentences uses a metaphor?
a. My ass is a jealous girlfriend.
b. My ass is like a jealous girlfriend.
c. My ass is jealous like a girlfriend.
3. Which of the following sentences contains a mispelling?
a. Holy crap, that's the most enormous butt plug I have ever seen.
b. Holy crap, are you planing to put that butt plug in my ass?
c. Holy crap, that is the hugest think I have ever put in my ass.
4. Which of the following is the wrong answer?
a. This one
b. This one
c. The one above this one.
d. All of the above.
5. How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
a. One, to hold the bulb still while the world revolves around her.
b. Two, one to flick the switch on and off in bewilderment and one to call Daddy.
c. Three, one to fix the problem and two to have a naked tickle fight.
d. Four, one to hold the ladder, one to switch bulbs, two to read the directions.
6. Which of the following is an animal?
a. tit
b. dooderfish
c. cooter
d. All of the above
7. Which of the following is not a thinly veiled euphamism representing a sexual act?
a. Gorphing hoagie
b. Colonel Angus
c. Felching
d. Punching pork
8. Which of the following can not be used for insertion and penetration?
a. elbow
b. head
c. kitchen shears
d. none of the above
9. Which of the following is grammatically correct?
a. He banged her like she was out of grade school.
b. The dark tinting on the van window was peeling.
c. Quality nylon ropes do not leave rope burn wounds.
d. All of the above.
10. Kangaroos are to wallabies as "Babe Winkleman" is to "_____."
a. The Flying Dutchman
b. Mackrel flaps
c. Dirty Sanchez
d. Donkey Punch
Please post your answers in the comments. The best score will win something. I dunno what. It will probably suck. However, merely by participating you will have increased your chances of future success.
posted by Unknown at 7:42 AM
23 Comments:
Is this an entrance exam to college, or to be a sex worker at the Bunny Ranch?
1) C 6) D
2) C 7) A
3) C 8) D
4) C 9) B
5) D 10) C
From Scottie2Hottie
so... with the one answer correction (he actually answered d for # 4) Scott gets a 50%
2.4.6.8.9
DIRTY!
Scottie2Hottie
1) c.
2) a.
3) c.
4) d.
5) b.
6) d.
7) a.
8) d.
9) b.
10) c.
stu scores a 40%
2.4.6.7.8.9
correction.... stu comes in at 50%
4.6.7.8.9
doh, another correction,,, stu has 60%... he is our new high score
4.6.7.9
Wha wha what? I demand a recount.
Scottie2Hottie
sorry dude... it's official, i rescored yours as well, to be sure... you are still at 50%
crapnasty takes the lead with 80%
2.4.
sorry... recount... still the leader 70%
you can't answer twice.... but if you could... well... good job
1-b
2-c
3-b
4-d
5-c(anything with naked in gets my vote)
6-a
7-b
8-a
9-a
10-b
ouch.... i will have to wait till i'm at work to score it properly but a cursory glance places you at 30%, metalicorphan
1. c 6. d
2. a 7. a
3. c 8. d
4. d 9. d
5. b 10. c
that's a 60% s.dirty
60 % dirty...
so the 40 other percent is clean?
there is no cheating... and if you heard that was the correct answer for #4 why didn't you use it?
Sadly, I was excited that I had the high score yesterday. Now, I am happy that I don't. I can put that excitement/shame behind me.
I didn't know til after I answered -- too late! Too late! story of my life.
Is the word verification getting nasty or what? kzjgscq? that's going too far.
eat taint
ok, against my better judgement here are my answers.
a, c, b, d, b, c, a, d, c, b
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