File under "Bitch ass geezers!"

I don't go to the grocery store during the day. I never really have. In fact, ever since reading a lbog from a coworker about his experience at the store during daytime hours I have made sure not to go. Yesterday, however, I had to. There were necessities that needed to be purchased and they couldn't wait until after 5 (when old people go to bed). I entered the store after having been nearly killed, mamed, or otherwise run down by countless rocketing blue hairs trying to pilot giant sedans from 3 inches below the steering wheel. I grab my cart and fight, like Livingston trying to cut is way free of the jungle while in a Malarial fever, to the TP, the milk, the other sundries (oh yeah, sundries) I needed. I was cut off, stalled, and otherwise thwarted in every attempt to maneuver but scores of shufflin seniors with carts full of fiber and beef liver. I waited at the end of an isle, trapped with a lady deciding which can of chili she wanted behind me and another enjoying the wonderous colors of a Lucky Charms end cap display. Both of them looked at me when I asked them to move and both of them went right back to what they were doing and ignored me completely. Finally I stepped in front of my cart and lifted the end of the Lucky Charms lady's cart and lifted it up, turned it 45 degrees, and walked on through. Over and over similar things were happening all around me. Finally I decided to scratch half my list and I made for the check out aisle. As I stood there waiting to check out I realized I hadn't gotten frozen hash browns. I left my card and went 10 feet to the freezer, grabbed the hash browns and came back. In that 15 seconds some old bat had moved my cart, still half full of groceries, into the aisle and pushed her cart in front of me. She then proceded to force the lady in front of her off to the side as she wrote her financial info into her checkbook forcing the cashier to climb onto the counter to reach far enought to hand the recipt to the previous customer. As I watched this happening an old lady behind me threw a 12 pack of soda on to the belt with my groceries. I turned in time to realize it was my 12 pack of soda. I looked at her strangely as she handed me the jar of pickles I had taken of the shelf and then turned to walk away with my cart! I was going to wheel my groceries to the car with that cart. I said "excuse me, ma'am?" and she turned and looked at me as she walked away but she didn't stop or acknowledge that she heard or understood me. None of this really surprises me. For years I have been painfully aware that the people in this town are the rudest and most inconsiderate bunch of sucks that ever sucked. The whole reason I shop at that Coborn's in the first place is because, despite the higher prices, is that it's the only place aside from super expensive ass Byerly's where I can actually get service with some assemblance of competance. Speaking of service, how's this!? As I finally reached the point where my items were scanned and I was preparing to pay the checkout girl asked me how I was. I said "I hate shopping here during the day, no offense to you..." She said "Yeah, it's almost like you wish there was some sort of spray that smelled like 'change' or 'kids on the lawn' to keep them away from you." I was stunned. Suddenly the whole shitty experience was worth it. I no longer felt like the only person in the store with a brain. My hope for humanity renewed, I struck out for home. My rejuvenated outlook lasted only moments, though, since as I was putting my groceries in the trunk a gentleman easily in his 90s pulled up in a Buick of some kind and said "Are you gonna be long or should I keep driving around?" I said "It'll only be a second or two." He replied by saying "You're young, why don't you park in the back and let the old people park up front?" I closed my trunk. I leaned on the back and said "Maybe you should just keep driving." He seemed confused. He didn't seem to get why I was acting like I was offended. He just stayed there, cars piling up behind him, much to close for me to back out anyway. He started to get mad after about 20 seconds and asked me "Are you leaving?" I said "Nope." and he drove off. Fuck old people. I would like them if they could just stop themselves from acting like assholes.