This is all a big joke, right? It's like the Truman show and I'm the schlep....... Right?
What the fuck is wrong with the world? Last night I called my bank, who maintains the scourge of modern American society; a call center in India. I don't have anything against Indians or the country of India but I don't like calling customer service and speaking to someone I can't understand and who cannot understand me. Usually they are reading from or following a series of scripts navigated by keywords in your statements and so they have no real understanding of your problem or anything. I was worried that some errors on my part(mailed some bills too soon and they are hitting before payday) would cause an overdraft. I called the bank last night to see if there is anything I can do. It was a conversation that lasted several minutes and many things happened but let me just treat you to the most important part.
Rep - I do not see this check you are concerned about in the list of things that will be processed this evening.
Me - Checks don't usually show, even in the available balance, in advance. If it was going to process tonight would you be able to see it coming?
Rep - No. I would only know if the check was going to process tonight if it had already processed and was listed in the completed transactions.
Me - So you checked the list of transactions to be completed tonight for a check that you knew couldn't be on the list? That's asinine.
Skip ahead a bit.....
Rep - In your situation, sir, there is very little that can be done.
Me - So, there is nothing that can be done at all or there is something "very little" that can be done that you have, so far, failed to mention?
Rep - There is nothing that can be done.
Me - So there isn't anything I can do to avoid an overdraft if that check goes through?
Rep - I'm sorry sir. There is nothing you can do.
Me - That sucks.
Rep - You could made a deposit at an ATM. The transaction would not process because it's after the cutoff but it would boost your available balance enough to avoid an overdraft.
Me - Do you know what "nothing" means?
Then END.
The check went through and thanks to some "just until Friday" loans from some stand up gentlemen I was able to make the ATM deposit that avoided the problem.
Ah..... The ATM deposit.
There are three ATM machines for my bank, in town. Two of them are inside Cub Foods stores and all of them are on my way home. I stopped at Cub Foods one and there were no deposit envelopes. I can't deposit money without envelopes. The branch inside the store is closed. I ask the pierced lip (why can't people with mouth and nose piercings clean the crusties off from around the hole?) manager if they might have any deposit envelopes....
Lipmeister - The Bank is in charge of the envelopes. If they are out of deposit envelopes I would call the 800 number on the ATM. We aren't responsible for the bank's stuff.
Me - I understand whose responsibility it is and I understand that you are not the bank. I am asking if you might have some extra ones around, maybe found on the floor or something. Even one from the trash can. I don't care. If they answer is no you could just say so. I didn't need you to make a bunch of excuses. A simple "no" would have been just fine.
Lipmeister - I don't even bank there so I wouldn't know.
OMFG. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I just walked away. I went to the TCF brach on 25th Ave. They no longer have an indoor ATM. I pull to the drive up. No envelopes there either. Thankfully there were envelopes at the next cub foods. I didn't get home until 11, though.
Today I was awakened by the sound of my kid laughing. That's a good thing. Marcia is on vacation this week (shhhhhhhhhhh) and so she gets up with the little buddy in the morning so I can have a vacation too. I come out and fire up the laptop to check that all is well with my bank account and there is a knock on the door. My wife answers and some dude (the building caretaker presumaly) tells here that when we play with sidewalk chalk from now on we need to clean it up, especially on the railings. The railings have two bars on them. The adult bar, which we did not decorate (don't want people to have to wash up just from coming in and out) and the midget bar which we did decorate. Since there aren't any midgets or other kids int he building who might use that lower bar I can't imagine why it would be a problem. I supposed you could not like it if it looks bad but it, in fact, looks good. It's cute and colorful. It's non-toxic, washes off in the rain, and makes this place look like the family friendly building it was advertised as when we moved in. I just looked outside and noticed the caretaker has not washed the sidewalk chalk off of anything. It's obviously not pressing or problem enough for him to do it. Why should we? If he doesn't think it needs to be cleaned why does he think we should clean it? Because he's a fucking nazi with an unsatisfying homelife. ASS.
Rep - I do not see this check you are concerned about in the list of things that will be processed this evening.
Me - Checks don't usually show, even in the available balance, in advance. If it was going to process tonight would you be able to see it coming?
Rep - No. I would only know if the check was going to process tonight if it had already processed and was listed in the completed transactions.
Me - So you checked the list of transactions to be completed tonight for a check that you knew couldn't be on the list? That's asinine.
Skip ahead a bit.....
Rep - In your situation, sir, there is very little that can be done.
Me - So, there is nothing that can be done at all or there is something "very little" that can be done that you have, so far, failed to mention?
Rep - There is nothing that can be done.
Me - So there isn't anything I can do to avoid an overdraft if that check goes through?
Rep - I'm sorry sir. There is nothing you can do.
Me - That sucks.
Rep - You could made a deposit at an ATM. The transaction would not process because it's after the cutoff but it would boost your available balance enough to avoid an overdraft.
Me - Do you know what "nothing" means?
Then END.
The check went through and thanks to some "just until Friday" loans from some stand up gentlemen I was able to make the ATM deposit that avoided the problem.
Ah..... The ATM deposit.
There are three ATM machines for my bank, in town. Two of them are inside Cub Foods stores and all of them are on my way home. I stopped at Cub Foods one and there were no deposit envelopes. I can't deposit money without envelopes. The branch inside the store is closed. I ask the pierced lip (why can't people with mouth and nose piercings clean the crusties off from around the hole?) manager if they might have any deposit envelopes....
Lipmeister - The Bank is in charge of the envelopes. If they are out of deposit envelopes I would call the 800 number on the ATM. We aren't responsible for the bank's stuff.
Me - I understand whose responsibility it is and I understand that you are not the bank. I am asking if you might have some extra ones around, maybe found on the floor or something. Even one from the trash can. I don't care. If they answer is no you could just say so. I didn't need you to make a bunch of excuses. A simple "no" would have been just fine.
Lipmeister - I don't even bank there so I wouldn't know.
OMFG. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I just walked away. I went to the TCF brach on 25th Ave. They no longer have an indoor ATM. I pull to the drive up. No envelopes there either. Thankfully there were envelopes at the next cub foods. I didn't get home until 11, though.
Today I was awakened by the sound of my kid laughing. That's a good thing. Marcia is on vacation this week (shhhhhhhhhhh) and so she gets up with the little buddy in the morning so I can have a vacation too. I come out and fire up the laptop to check that all is well with my bank account and there is a knock on the door. My wife answers and some dude (the building caretaker presumaly) tells here that when we play with sidewalk chalk from now on we need to clean it up, especially on the railings. The railings have two bars on them. The adult bar, which we did not decorate (don't want people to have to wash up just from coming in and out) and the midget bar which we did decorate. Since there aren't any midgets or other kids int he building who might use that lower bar I can't imagine why it would be a problem. I supposed you could not like it if it looks bad but it, in fact, looks good. It's cute and colorful. It's non-toxic, washes off in the rain, and makes this place look like the family friendly building it was advertised as when we moved in. I just looked outside and noticed the caretaker has not washed the sidewalk chalk off of anything. It's obviously not pressing or problem enough for him to do it. Why should we? If he doesn't think it needs to be cleaned why does he think we should clean it? Because he's a fucking nazi with an unsatisfying homelife. ASS.
posted by Unknown at 9:52 AM
4 Comments:
please excuse all the typos... i don't feel like fixing them
The last time I made a deposit at the ATM, I picked up a few (2-3)extra envelopes to keep in my car just in case. I would blame myself for your difficulties, but I don't use TCF. Just saying you should try it.
these reasons stated above are why i do not own a fire arm. im far to lazy to go home and grab a brick to trhow at someone.
ahh,that is such a satisfying read...sorry whackly,but it means i am not the only one who has these kind of banking problems...only,i just get the fine for the overdraft thing
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