"The Thriller in Bahrain"

Poor old misunderstood Michael Jackson. Why doesn't the world understand that sleeping with young boys is just innocent fun? OK, no more sicko points of view here, it's making me feel ill. Anyways, according to this article, the gloved one is going to try and put his Neverland troubles behind him by purchasing a house in Bahrain in the Persian Gulf.

Apparently, his reputation as a perverted little boy lover has made him search for more "fresh meat" on other continents of the globe. My prediction is that he will fashion his residence to look like a chocolate factory where he can lure little boys to be McCulkin-ized. It seems to me that he is barking up the wrong tree however...what he really should do is invest in quantam research so that one day he can build a time machine, go back in time, and live in the age of the Greeks where he would have been considered "Normal". But problems with that plan still abound. How will he ever get the 1.21 Gigawatts of electricity...and how will he solve the pickle matrix Muh-Hey!