Names Changed To Protect The Guilty

A few of you have questioned the level of frustration I feel at my job. Some (like my Dad) have told me it wouldn't be any different anywhere else. LIES, I say! I've worked a lot of places but no company I have ever worked at was as efficient at fucking up a good product as the one I work at now. I want to be clear (not just covering my ass) that the things said in the following piece do not reflect my opinion of the people I work with, directly, in St. Cloud. Once you leave St. Cloud and start looking at the company in general, and especially our corporate office and call center, every bit of it applies. In fact, compared to the company's broader reality, the following letter is actually understated. Some of you will have read the actual un-edited version of the following letter and will know who it was to, from, and about. I have had no personal contact with the person to whom this letter was addressed but it does represent the general feeling amongst the employees I know concerning the upper levels of management.

The following is a real letter of resignation written by someone who quit yesterday. This person worked in a different city, in a different state, and at a different job from myself. Her name, the name of the company, and the name of the intended recipient have been [Anonymized]. It's a great example of how NOT to end your relationship with a company. That said, though we may never say it, we're all thinking it.

Presented For Your Approval:


Dear [Anonymous Corporate Mgmt Type],

You will probably notice that I am not the first person to jump off this ship before it sinks. I’ve cracked the code on how you all have “managed” (pun intended) to run away so many qualified employees in a growing economy. Perhaps my leaving will save the company enough money to train the management on quality leadership. TQL series can be quite expensive, but I am sure [Anonymous Company] would approve that sort of expenditure rather than continue wasting money training new people who stay a month and move on. Our constant turn over might be considered by some to be a bad sign. But not by this companies clueless management, whose inane directives and seemingly limitless ability to patronize, demotivate and pass the buck, has made [Anonymous Company] what it is today.

As an employee of [Anonymous Company] I had very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct line supervisors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. Consistent annoying micro-managing of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, made it impossible to optimally function. I can only surmise that you all really don’t care about employee retention. Micro management is the primary complaint of disgruntled [Anonymous Company] employees.

You walk around your office all day, shiftlessy looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that obviously worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert Principal.

My only regret is that I will not be able to see the progression of the [Anonymous City] market with the new VP, GM and RSM, as I have seen sales and moral improving from when I first began this journey with [Anonymous Company] The best of luck to you all, it was a pleasure working with you.

I tried to stick in there until the 1st but due to circumstances beyond my control, see management, this letter will also serve as my resignation.

With warmest regards,

[Anonymous]
EX-[Anonymous Company] SSR

P.S. In closing, I can’t help but to think maybe if I would have come to work drunk and high and taken 2 hour lunches with other managers on my pcard then maybe I too would have been treated more favorably.